Couples Counseling in Portland, Oregon
Diana Kilinski, LPC, BCC, ACC
Licensed Professional Counselor, Board Certified Coach, Associate Certified Coach
The Quality of Your Life Is Determined By The Quality of Your Relationships.
The Quality of Your Relationships is Determined by the Quality of Your Communication.
Get the Skills and Tools You Need Now with Couples Counseling
In the first few mentoring sessions you will learn what to do to experience the relationship improvement you want. My mission as a Couples Communication Mentor is to provide you with tools to heal past hurts and to create a relationship that is loving and full of mutual understanding, respect and joy.
I have many years experience as a professional couples counselor and coach. One of my proudest achievements is my long-term relationship with my husband, Dan. Our marriage has been a journey through wonderful highs and devastating lows. The struggle has strengthened our relationship and deepened our love. As your mentor, I will guide you from my professional and personal experience.
Myth: Good relationships should just happen because people love each other.
Reality: Good relationships take hard work.
Heal your relationship. Heal your life.
You have the power to create the relationship you want with good couples communication skills. Something exciting happens when healthy communication skills are mastered. Improvements start to occur in relationships with your partner as well as your children, family members, friends and coworkers. Your good communication skills create a healthy example for your children to follow and pass on to their children.
Couples Counseling for One
What if you are the only one that is willing to work on the relationship? You may feel you have tried everything without success. My experience is that many relationships improve when only one person makes the right changes. Believe it or not, Couples Counseling for One really works.
What if your relationship problems seem more serious than just couples communication?
Problems that cannot be safely discussed cannot be solved. Most relationship problems stem from deeper issues that may be difficult to talk about. Good communication skills create the foundation of a safe place to talk about those difficult issues.
Long term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and valleys.
Common Couples Communication Problems
In my work with hundreds of couples, I have noticed commonly reoccurring
communication problems that may sound familiar to you. Here is an example of a few:
- You feel stuck in an endless pattern of conflict.
- Disagreements turn into angry arguments and nothing gets resolved.
- Criticism, nagging, and negative judgment.
- Past problems continue to be brought up.
- You are like roommates with little emotional closeness.
- You do not feel heard when expressing feelings, needs, and wants.
- Push back, shut down, and stonewalling.
- Angry, threatening and hurtful language.
- Ignoring and minimizing expressions of concern.
The Relationship Improvement Program
As your mentor, I will guide you through the steps to restore feelings of trust, connection and love. I will show you the way to heal your relationship pain by leaving the past in the past to build the relationship you want.
Basic Communication Building Blocks for Relationship Success
Every relationship is unique and requires a customized approach. As I learn to know you, I will find the best way to help you. Whatever your special circumstance, there are primary relationship-restoration communication tasks that must be accomplished first.
- Create a safety zone where you can talk free of anger and hurtful language.
- Discuss a mutual vision of your ideal relationship.
- Embrace forgiveness and express appreciation.
- Use active listening and positive couple’s communication.
- Manage strong emotions and hot triggers.
- Eliminate toxic communication patterns.
- Talk more about what you want and less about what you don’t want.
- Discuss what is working and agree to do more of it.
- Discuss what doesn’t work and agree to do something different.